I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
