if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Me too!
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
