Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize