i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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