So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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