I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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