listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
