I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
