Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry dirtymindz hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?

Fav 84 1151 6283
share tweet
(772): View more from Florida

remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.

Fav 11 3803 1543
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(918): View more from Oklahoma

There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters

Fav 83 11866 2384
share tweet
(207): View more from Maine

just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.

Fav 3 4070 1028
share tweet
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.

Fav 2 1366 876
share tweet
(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.

Fav 14 1197 731
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(910): View more from North Carolina

I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.

Fav 8 2122 786
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.

Fav 1 23 56
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(212): View more from New York

Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.

(518): View more from New York

Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!

(518): View more from New York

Oh fuck wait

Fav 0 68 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT