I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
