Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
