Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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