I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
