Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
wow bdsm is so cute
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
