Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
