OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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