whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
