When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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