Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Randomize
