Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
