didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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