I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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