I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
