Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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