shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
