Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
