FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
