I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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