Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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