im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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