Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
