My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
