she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
