Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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