Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
