i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
