Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
there was a trapeze. enough said
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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