mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
