You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
