Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
