I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
