I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize