think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize