On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
