So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
