so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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