If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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