she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
