was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
