the new term for farting is butt boxing.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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