I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize