Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
