sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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