laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
