I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize