He is an equal opportunity slut.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
