I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
