Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
