is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
