You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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