you would pick up someone in the library
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
