I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
