There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I didn't notice because vodka
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
