hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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