It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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