this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize