good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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