well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
True strength comes from lack of pants
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
