I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
