DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm at about main and main street
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
