my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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