I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize