One girl and one boy is just not enough.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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