If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
